It became so tense that I came to a point that nothing matters anymore. With palpitation the whole day, and every minutes while I was practicing, I almost died of arrythmia. I can’t imagine myself sleeping with my heart beating so fast! And I was wondering, will my adrenaline ran out by the time I sit in front of the simulated patients. God, is just simulated patients. Is not even some cute guy for Valentine.
Okay, anyway, it’s over now! Can you believe it! I actually finished my theory year! And I so wish I never had to wear that lab coat anymore. So wish that I passed all my stations, despite all the stupid mistakes I did. Somehow I came to a conclusion that, no matter how much you work on it, when you can’t keep your head, everything is just gonna turn upside down. I can finish minor surgery in 10 minutes at home, but..... when I was given 20 minutes, and God knows why I can’t finish it. Does washing hand without wiping it considered an aseptic procedure?! ARGH! And that IV, how can I make such a stupid mistake! This is soooo not me. Diagnosing Hepatitis as cholecystitis?! OMG! What was I thinking! How can I not remember HbsAg?
God had been so nice to me by giving me nice doctors and not so difficult cases, and not in the same group with some competitive- perfect-Goddess. If I gonna screw up this time, I only have myself to blame. DAMN! (Bang Head). Screw it! It’s Over! You know what, I am not gonna think about it anymore. It’s over! It’s all up to my doctor’s mercy to decide now. So I just gonna forget about it... ... ... well, at least that was what I said since this morning. And I am still recalling it. Great.
PS: Pathetic. I am palpitating about OSCE during valentine. Medical Student, i am.
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