Thursday, December 23, 2010

Life as usual

The day before Christmas Eve. Tutorial ended. I walked to the canteen as usual. Ordered ‘mi ayam’ as usual. Then I noticed something. Quiet. There was no one in the canteen except the workers. Unusual. Relieved, I sat at one corner, enjoying the peace, enjoying the breeze against my face. The man brought me my order, and I started eating.

A few minutes later, someone interrupted my peace. I looked up.

“Mbak, bias gak?” and he pointed at the chair in front of me. I nodded. Then another girl came. And another one. And another one. Before I realized, I am already sharing table with three other girls. And the canteen was crowded. As usual.

Life as usual.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Tremor in Lecture Hall

“Anti diarrheal is especially used in baby and children…”

I was writing down everything the lecturer mentioned. Then, something irritated me. Somebody was shaking his leg. Somebody. Mak who sit next to me? No? He didn’t look like he was shaking his leg. Then, I wanted to look who was sitting next to Mak. Just then, Mak looked up, with the same look I had and asked, “why is it shaking?” I know instantly something was wrong.

The powerpoint slide screen in front shake. Everybody started to look around. No one make a move out. THE WHOLE HALL IS SHAKING!!!! For goodness sake!!! Guess who was the first person to leave the seat? Yes, the lecturer. And she was like… just.walk.out.

LOL… but within a few minutes, everything settled back down. No brick falls. No casualties. No further stories. Yup. Just tremor in the lecture hall which ended the lecture right away.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Depress dog

Have you ever seen a dog that looks more depress than me? 


He is just one-two months old, and he looks like he hates the whole world, with a pair of emo eyes. But he is cute and bounces here and there. Most importantly, he responded to my call. Sad eyes. I don’t even have the heart to shout at him. Maybe till he is a little bit older. So, I placed that little fella into my arms, and he stopped whining instantly. Within minutes, he felt asleep. Peace. Like a baby. (Don’t be mistaken, I do not like kids.) But this is just so heart melting! How could I even shout at him? Even if I have steel heart, he is just too… small… too… weak…

The little guy likes sand and grass, and can’t control his bladder. He had an ulcer on his neck, add on to his sadness. Maybe because of his emo-ness that I felt like giving him a little bit more attention. And Tipsy is like an elder sister, wondering whether all the attention had shifted to the other member in the house. Lolz. They are just like human. But I guess from now onwards, Tipsy has a friend to play with. At least now she doesn’t need to play with herself, catching air in the living hall. =)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

问题在哪?

难的不是答案。难的是问题。要找答案,有志者,事竟成。要找问题,也许要比志气还要高的志气。

我以为自己志气高。我以为自己败不了。一次有一次的打击,我会告诉自己,我要更努力。别人能,我不能?我就不信我不能。人家用一天,我用十天,也一定要能。要说我天真,也许吧。也许‘勤能补磋’无法派上用场。日子久了,我发现自己离目标越来越近。只是自己原地不动,目标移近而已。

原来这不是志气。我只是固执。我不能相信自己掌控不了未来。我不能相信自己败给自己。所以不停的,战战战。我要的不过是给自己一个答案,却始终找不了问题的所在。我不是读不够,我不是记不了。我不是没听课。我到底为什么明明就会,却还是回答错呢?这是问题吗?
我。好。灰。心。

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Ungrateful people

I may be nice, but I am not stupid. Please do not use me. I am tired of all this shit. Imagine that I spend one whole hour doing the computerizing and drawing that graph. All you did is spend a few minutes asking me for the answer. You just need to ask it a little bit more sincerely. But why do you all sound like it is a must to help you?

Why does everybody sound like it is a must to help them? This is not my work. I don’t get paid for this. I don’t get paid for collecting and transferring lecturer slides. I don’t get paid for running errands. I don’t get paid for helping you guys in your homework. I don’t even get paid for running around the campus like a crazy lady. I did my role, nicely and I don’t get praise for it. All I get is blame, when I din’t help. And by doing this, why has it turns out to be a must for me? What the hell! What has the world turns out to be? They are not sincere. They are not stupid. They are just lazy and think that they are smart for being able to use people. I believe in Karma, but I am sick of it.

Yesterday, another guy asked me for lecture slides, and he really sounded sincere and apologetic to disturb me late at night. Somehow, I felt please being able to help. I don’t know how, but it truly made a difference. So, if you are not sincere, next time I will say no. If you really need my help, I did be happy to do so, but make sure I won’t hear things like, “why hasn’t you send me your graph?” I been doing too much charity that I need to do more for myself.