Detach

Perhaps I can come to a conclusion that, everyone gets their downs, at certain point in their lifetime. And as always, when you are down, u felt that no one will ever understands you. And the pain you felt will be so excruciating, unbearable, invisible, stab through your heart. And it often happens when you lose something or someone, important to your life. You felt like life is empty, life is nothing, you can’t see further from where you stand. That was when you were from the first person view.

When you are in the second person view, you felt some pain, but not all. You watch the suffering; you try to recall how you felt, what you need, but often helpless. You know you were once down, but the pain was no longer there. Psychology work someway to blocks it away, and you were quite numb at that point. You know you had pain, but recalling nothing but battle scar. So, you tell yourself you need to be there. That’s all they need. And perhaps, you will tell them all the advices you gain from your experience, do all the good things others have done to you, hoping they will heal a bit. It was like trying to recall how hard UPSR paper was when you were that age.

When you are in the third person view, things seem to be so far away. Somehow, you will avoid people in bad mood. Then you will tell yourself, maybe you dint know the whole story. You will criticize. Then you watch those gradually transform, locking themselves in their own world, own closet. The feeling was like watching a drama, a gossip topic.

I am in the point of life, where my pals and I are constantly thinking, yet constantly confused. And all of a sudden, the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling became so useful.

“Tuesday With Morrie” Learn to detach from emotion suddenly make all the sense to me. You won’t understand when you have never experience it. You won’t know how to detach when you never find a way yourself. Life is all about venturing into the unknown, and discovering.

“But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. … I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”
…
“Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely – but eventually be able to say, ‘All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.”

(Tuesday with Morrie)