Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Borthered Sleep

I am sick. Recently I have not been sleeping well. I keep having some kind of night mares. Once an octopus-looking monster keeps pin me on my bed. Then, the same monster, but, now, the arms look like rats. I am pretty sure there is nothing to do with the killing of rats in my house. But, the scary part is, I am not able to move my body, but was vividly awake. And, I could see the monster so clearly behind me, knowing it was a dream, yet unable to move an inch to break free. If the monster does not appear, I will most probable wake up in the middle of a conflict, solving some unsolvable problems. And there is this illusion that I fall from the stairs, accompanied by a reflex to jump back up. And it happens like a lot. I could feel my whole body jumping, regardless whether I am sleeping on my bed or just sleeping on my study table. Damn!

My circadian rhythm had been working so perfectly that I never fail to wake up around 5 to 6 in the morning, even when I am extremely tired. I will sleep back of course, but it feels so unreal. Nonetheless, I am lethargic, especially in the morning. If you say I have not been sleeping early, you are wrong. I did try to sleep early, but to no avail. Damn! Then, my friend found something on the internet. It is something called “Sleep Paralysis”. Gosh. I really think I fulfilled all the symptoms. I am too stressful.

Now, I am down with flu and headache. The funny thing is, only the left part of my head felt that dizziness. I guess the nose block on my left sides affects my nerve, ‘cause when I made a sudden turn, there is an impulse sent straight from the back of my head to my nose and even my mid face. Yes. Is that bad.

Friday, April 23, 2010

1、学会冷血,只对对我好的人好,对某些人,简直就是浪费感情    
2、学会比以前快乐,即使难过,也要微笑着    
3、学会孤独,没有谁会把你当宝护着,世界总是孤单的    
4、学会坚强,其实一个人也可以活得漂亮,自己笑给自己看,自己哭给自己听    
5、学会忍耐,该闭嘴就闭嘴,该沉默就沉默    
6、学会珍惜,知心的朋友已经不多,如果再走,就真的只剩下自己了    
7、学会视而不见,恶心的东西选择忽视,厌恶的东西选择屏蔽,不会再有人让我不快乐    8、学会满足,所谓知足常乐    
9、学会独立,不能再一味的麻烦别人,自己的事自己做    
10、学会长大,不能再那么任性,那么幼稚,那么孩子气    
11、学会认真,认真的对人,认真的对事
12、学会慎重,不该认识的人不要认识,不该插手的事不要插手

从facebook抄下来的。觉得还挺有意思的。也许这些就是我应该学会的吧。

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

妈的,自私到。。。还亏我对你降好!瞎了眼。吃大便啦!最好给我滚远远。根本不想看到你的脸。一脸欠扁,假惺惺。去死!知道你厉害,不用这样子的!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

正。反

喜歡一個人是一種感覺。
不喜歡一個人卻是事實。
事實容易解釋,
感覺卻難以言喻。

記住該記住的,
忘記該忘記的。
改變能改變的,
接受不能改變的。

失敗者找理由,
成功者找方法。

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Futsal Tournament

Futsal is over. I mean kinda over…. I guess I am enough with futsal, shall go for other sports. Considering basketball or pool (I don’t know how you spell it) Haha… Actually I really love futsal, it is fast, active and all about strategy and stamina. Kinda nice. But, on the other hand, I don’t really like that kind of team play. And one more thing, it is an expensive game. I wasted 60k on one week practices and 70k on jersey. Ok, maybe no very expensive, but hey, I can eat 10 meals with that okay.

Today’s match was ok, only that I played around 10 minutes out of the 56 minutes, just because I am inexperience, had only scored one before and can’t promise a goal, so I dare not say I wanted to substitute. So, must as well let those better players who wanna play to play lo, since they still got the stamina. I did offer though, but they wanted to persist despite their injury. They are good. Very good. Impressive. And many continued with thunder kick even though they were half limping. Gosh. I can’t beat that.

Actually there is another match tomorrow, but I guess I won’t have a chance to go down the court. I anticipate it to be rough and tough. I guess the other two strikers will play full time, so, I shall just go there, as team mates.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Introspection

Suddenly I find everything about me unsatisfying.

I am not of my right weight. I can’t donate blood when one of my seniors met an accident and emergency needed A+ blood. And the thought of having the blood but unable to help is very disturbing. And I felt sorry about it.

I am not of my right height. When I talked to the juniors whom I am supposed to teach them about basic life support, somehow I felt unconvincing. I know it is just my imagination, but I see eyes of uncertainties. How nice if I am a bit taller, at least I don’t need to stand a bit further to look at some gigantic people.

I am not of my right size. When I played futsal, I felt people are damn huge. They keep blocking my way and my view. And with only a slight push, I am off the way. If only I a bit tougher. If only I am a bit stronger, my ball will go a bit further and more powerful.

And I wonder why some girls like to lie about being lighter than they are supposed to be. God Damn It! She is more than 55kg, and she claimed to be 45kg?! And only me believed it and give her a ride. And it is killing me to support her weight. And I have no idea how to say NO, every time she asked for a ride. Gosh. I am just 30++kg… pity me…

Monday, April 12, 2010

Futsal practice 3

Hmm…. I guess I felt a bit tired now. When was the last time I have strenuous exercise? Let me count. Around two year! I had been sedentary for two years! That was long. Wonder had all my muscles atrophy. Compared JC PE lessons, these two hours futsal supposed to be nothing. But, I guess age had caught me up.

Practice was okay. I have no idea whether I improved, but guess so. Today my performance wasn’t really good. My right quadriceps muscle cramped during one of the shot. My left knee hematoma upon collided with someone. My gluteus muscles tried to protest. Till now, I haven’t really scored a goal in match. DAMN! I wonder why. But today’s match, I only played a while due to my leg’s condition. But Eunice was worse. She received a face shot from Effa! Girls can be quite rough sometimes. Heard of female lion?

The teams were set. Basically, first team followed the previous team. And the new members joined the second team. Something like that. Well, I guess I have to start communicating with my members. The problem is, when I get the ball, I looked down, so how the hell am I going to see where my members are? When i get the ball, but the goal post is behind me, how to turn my direction? And when i get the ball, i have a feeling, everyone is rushing to me! Scary man! Zzzzzzzzzz. And precilla kept telling me DON’T HESITATE! Ok ok... trying trying!!!

Tharan, Kenny and Kean seng came to see me play, according to them lar. Hahaha. Thank you thank you. But, I guess I am not that pro after all. I just wish my legs can be optimized during the match itself. Gosh. This is gonna be tiring. I need more protein.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Futsal

One day, Hema came to me and asked if I wanna play futsal. I was thinking, I am not that busy nowadays, not bad trying something new. “Ya, I am interested, but who is in the team….”

So, this led to something in my blog. Today, 22 girls showed up in the futsal court. Never seen so many girls interested in futsal. I guess people are just as bored as me. But, apparently, they can be very good at it too.

The problem was, I have no idea how to play, the rules, the techniques and all! In short, I know NOTHING about futsal. I played. Rooban, Gan and some other guys helped to train us. Thanks to them. But, I still suck at it, I think. The moment I got the ball…. YES! I got it. So?... damn! I can’t shot! I can’t aim! The only thing I know is, GET THE BALL, GET THE BALL! Kinda funny huh, but hey, I can be quite fast sometimes.

So, I was thinking. Since I can’t shot, why not try some other things. Goalkeeper maybe. But Gan says, “no! you striker!” Many says, “you too small la dear!” T.T ok lo… But today, I assist in 3 goals! No bad huh! I liked Messy! And I am quite happy when the guys called me Messy! Hahaha…

So, without knowing how, I am in the team. There will be more practice this week, I guess. I wanna score one goal, at least one, to get free drinks from Kean seng. Hahaha!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Diary

I bought a Printer Scanner! Yeah, finally get to print and scan myself! Yy accompanied me to survey the price of printer and with Vee’s opinion, finally I bought a Rp775k Canon printer+scanner+copy. Not bad though.

Yesterday, I watched “My Name Is Khan…KH..KHAN, from the epiglottis!” It was very very touching. I would rate it 5 stars! Not bad at all. But, I bet it wouldn’t really happen in real life. As in, how possible such men exist? I don’t know about you, but I have lost faith in human. I believe no man will have that kind of love and perseverance. And how possible he can meet Obama? But, still, this is totally a worth watching movie. I love it!!! Not to say I tears 3 times in that 2 and a half hour screening.