Thursday, December 31, 2009

傻瓜

当你说一大堆废话的时候,会不会有人傻到愿意做听众?
当你做错事的时候,会不会有人傻到认为你对而为你辩护??
当你霸道任性的时候,会不会有人傻到任你放纵而莫不出声?
当你发现自己超级烂的时候,会不会有人傻到不离不弃?
当所有人认为你坏的时候,会不会有人傻到自投罗网?
当你伤心难过的时候,会不会有人傻到办小丑逗你开心?
当你离开远去的时候,会不会有人傻到等你回来?
当你无助的时候,会不会有人傻到为你烦恼?
当你需要的时候,会不会有人傻到为你奔波?

没有?

我有。


而我
已经开始想念
这些傻瓜了。

Monday, December 28, 2009

Retake or not?

Retake? No? retake? No? retake? No?
This is killing me!
How can they change results!!!
This is soooo UNFAIR!!!!

Ok… hui ying, think rasionally…

Top 5 reasons why I should retake
5. Improve grade
4. Make my lowest B instead of B/C
3. Tell myself there is another chance
2. 3.42 is definitely not first class honour!
1. Detach from guiltiness

Top 5 reasons why I SHOULDN’T retake
5. Screw the programme, they just want to rob us daylight
4. Can anybody tell me why I should re-studying Health System of Indonesia?
3. Study in 1 week the block I couldn’t do better in 7 weeks is sooo ridiculous.
2. This is sooo tiring. I wanna concentrate on paediatrics.
1. I wanna go home.


So… now what?!
I wonder why I am in this now! I should be doing something I am good at. Numbers, calculations, graphs… Medicine is definitely not of my luck.
When I use to aim for 90++ in exam, now I can only wish for at least a B! 有一点酸酸的感觉
And watching some smart fellow announcing, “My MARKS improve from 87 to 90” while I can only say, “my GRADE is merely surviving” is so disappointing. 真是有够讨厌的说
And worse, no matter how much effort I put in, the output is still the same. 力不从心
This is biology; this is not Maths, not physics. You can’t count, there is no specific answer. Why am I in this field?! Don’t you think engineering suits me well? Gosh! 扯太远了
I shall stop wondering whether I am in the right field. Touching human or operating machine, I bet human still win. But… but… we only apply 10% of what we study in our work!!无聊。
So, what is the point of studying!

Retake? No? retake? No? retake? No?............. =.=”



I guess not… God Bless Me

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Surabaya-Bromo trip 3

We reached Bromo at 2am. It was freezing cold. Stupid me, I brought Vee’s cap, Vee’s scarf, but I forget my own gloves. SHIT! I rubbed my palm together and tucked them into my pockets, hoping it won’t freeze bite. The villagers there welcomed us with “mau naik enggak? Rp500…” What the hell. They looked scary and really like zombie wanting to eat our money. Gosh! I din’t know Bromo people can be sooo unfriendly. We thought buying tickets from the counter would be cheap, as xiang wei and the man we paid just now said. But, it seems like the whole villagers already complot. MY GOD. Buying tickets from the base might be cheaper though. Our driver is one useless shit. He cared nothing and continued sleeping while we faced all the money-eating-zombies. We accepted the offer Rp500k to take the jeep. But, then the dealer found another couple to add in our jeep. We planned to complot with the couple, but apparently failed. So, I told the dealer, “tadi udah janji 5 orang satu jeep, gak enak si, tambah 2 orang lagi.” Finally the dealer gave up and offer us Rp400 k for 5 people. Save my 20k.

The route up Penajakan was dangerous and OMG. I wondered how the driver drove. The screen is like a black box only. How the driver know when to turn and not collide into anything. Top driver! We reached the top, walked up, with torch light. Many Ojek were there, offering us for a ride. Go die la… blocking my way. We reached the top, waiting for sunrise. I think I see more butts than scenery. It was sooo crowded! The scenery was nice, beautiful, but only quite cloudy that day. We couldn’t really see the sun rise. Sad.

After that, we walked down. Lee Lee and Yinli lose their way, missed the jeep and went down. Then we had to find them with the jeep. Haha. Funny girls. Who say I cannot see clearly without a speck?! I spotted the jeep and save my energy walking down. But, it was so cold I felt my stomach twisting. Gosh.

Then, the jeep took us to bromo. Wow, for a few seconds, I thought I was in Sahara desert. Gosh, the scenery was… indescribable! It was sooooo cool. We took the pony up Bromo hill. I hate my Pony because it was not really that tame. This is my first time riding a pony! Cool! Then we took stairs up to the hill top. Gosh, this is even more speechless. After that we visited the candi at the base of the hill. Nice.
The jeep brought us back to our car. Our driver finally awake. We asked him to bring us to Mandakaripura Waterfall. Again, I was stunned by the view. You have got to see it yourself. Stupid me, I wore white, and I left my umbrella in the car. We needed to climb a lot to reach to the waterfall, but it worth everything once we witness the view. Marvelous!
We bathed before we went down. Stupid me again, I brought my mother’s pants instead of mine, and it was too lose. So, I had to borrow Yinli’s. Aww…

We reached Surabaya around 4.30pm. We waited for our transport at TP. Then around 7pm, we went to Hotel Tunjungan, pretend we are checking in, use their bath room and took pictures outside the lobby. Haha. We departe back to Yogya at 7pm. This time round, we got a nice van. It has only 3 of us, well equipped with pillow, blankets, snacks, water, and most of all Air-Con… haha.

The whole trips only cost me Rp845,000. wahaha.

Surabaya-Bromo trip 2

We were told that we couldn’t stay in the kost after 4pm. So, we must come back by 3pm to bath and packed. Just then, we realised we won’t have enough time to go Malang since the apple farm only opened at 7am and our travel back is either 7am or 7pm. So, we cancelled our Malang trip and went to check out train ticket at Station Gubeng. Apparently the entire executive seat was sold off, so luckily I had a travel number to call. So, we book three seats to travel back the next day.

We wanted to cross over the Gubeng station to Muzium Kapal Selam. So, we asked a cleaner there, and we managed to walk through the train station, without any ticket! Haha. I can board a train without ticket it seems. We met Jemey and Hajar in the museum. I had never been into a submarine before, so it was an eye opener for me.
After that, we asked direction to go to Cheng Ho Mosque. It seems like even the taxi driver have no idea where it was. So, when we finally reached there, only did we know that it was not actually a tourist spot. But, it was really weird to see all the Chinese Praying in the mosque. They spoke Chinese to us too. Poor Yinli again. The chairman of fundraising section welcomed us. He even introduced us all the structures of the mosque. Apparently, the mosque was a unity of Chinese 八卦, Christian element, and muslim Al-Quran. Wow. He even bought us to meet a lady doctor from China who worked as a volunteer here. Then, he opened us the store and let us take pictures with the huge statue of Cheng Ho. Friendly man he is.
After our lunch, we decided to move on to Patung Djoko Dilog. It was known as an incarnation of Raja. So, we asked for direction from the Security Guard in the mosque. They said is very near here, but if take taxi, it would be quite far because taxi need turn one big round. So, they offered to give us a ride there. Haha. 3 foreign girls on 3 security bikes, off to our destination. Well, as I roughly know the roads, and after all it was daylight and in big city, we took on their offer. The Patung was a disappointment because it was closed. Then, we planned to go Plaza Surabaya. So, the three security guards again offer themselves. Haha. We were sooo lucky. They even introduce us to all the different building aroung Surabaya, and tell us nice places to visit. Oh…. Cool!!!! As we spotted the Sura versus Buaya monument (that is how the name Surabaya derived), we decided to stop by to take a photos. We din’t buy any ticket to pass by the monument kapal selam, we showed them the one we bought this morning and success in walking in. Haha.
After that, we departed back and cleaned ourself.

Then we went to Galexy for the rest of the night, waiting for our transport to Bromo. We paid the cinema guard to take care of our bags and went shopping, bag free. Haha. Around 11, our transport came. We dealt with the man, and he really looked fishy, wanting us to pay beforehand. We asked him to sign a note for us, and he did. So, off we go. Then, the driver asked us, who is the man that was talking to us just now. My heart stopped awhile! We just paid a man that the driver doesn’t even recognize?! OH GOSH! After explanation, we knew that they belong to different agent, and yes, we can pay the man… phew…

Surabay-Bromo trip 1

We reached Surabaya around 7pm, due to the stupid driver. The stupid driver tried to con me and wanted to drop me at Dharmawangsa when my actual destination was Dharmahusada. YOU THINK I STUPID AR! Luckily I am smart enough to notice the road sign and direct the driver to our destination. SCREW that man! Padan muka you broke your side mirror!

We were warmly welcomed by Lee lee’s friend, Yan Ying. Then the Ibu Kost prepared the room for us. Cool, Air con room!!! We bathed and sleep for a while.
8.30 am (almost nine). We departed to eat our breakfast. But it was not open until 9.30am. So, I changed the meeting time with Jemey to 10 am. While waiting, we saw a tall building written “RS Specialist”. As future doctor, we went in to explore. Haha. The hospital had not open for visitors. But, we went in through the side door and were stunned by the decoration.“Do we need to pay a ticket to come in.” Yinli said.
We explored the hospital and found that it was well equipped with Doctors’ Club and Helipad! Cool! A very very high class hospital!

9.30am we ate our brunch. The portion was sooo big we couldn’t finish it. Yan Ying was really a hospitable host that she even paid for our breakfast. We spotted an angkut that could bring us to Tugu Pahlawan. So, we each paid 3k to reach our destination. We met an old uncle who spoke Chinese.
“我当然会讲华文啦,这里老一辈的都会。你们要去哪里?”
“噢。。。tugu pahlawan. 我们应该哪里下车?”
“前面就是了。等下过桥后,不久就可以下车。”
Poor Yinli, she has no idea what he is talking about. And there was once that man scolded the younger generation for not learning Chinese. Hahaha.
When we reached there, Jemey and Hajar hadn’t arrived. We met two guys that tell us we need to register at House Of Sempoerna for free bus. Haha. While waiting for Jemey, we round the whole area and admire the old building around. When we returned, Jemey arrived, but the two guys disappeared. Are they angels that only we can see?

We went to House of Sempoerna. It was a cigarette muzium. Indonesia produce a lot of cigarette a year, and we were stunned by the speed they produced it. The workers actually have to roll 500 cigarettes in one hour and they only get Rp100 per cigarette. They worked like machine.
“is this for real? Or is this just a screen?” we looked down from the visitors area at the workers.
Then we registered for SHT (FREE BUS). We met two nice girls who introduce us Surabaya. They even told us the direction to all our destinations. Haha. I am more than glad we met all the nice people throughout our trips. And the girls were real nice they even helped us to take photographs and tell us everything throughout the trips. I guess Surabaya people were generally friendly and helpful. SHT took us around the central of Surabaya. We were told all the history and use of the old building left by the Colonial. We also went in Tugu Pahlawan and PPN XI. Nice.

After that, we left to Kya Kya. Although we were told that Kya Kya no longer exist as a place of interest, we still went there to take picture of the Gerbang.

Then we proceed to Pantai Ria Genjeran with taxi. We prayed while Jemey and Hajar went around taking photos. Then we crossed to another temple. It looks simple. I was looking for the main God in the temple until I reached the end of the temple. I opened the door and…. Wow!!!! Unbelievable. For once I couln’t believe my eyes! It was sooo huge. I felt like I am in heaven. With the cooling sea breeze and the majestic view by the sea, it was awesome!

After we prayed, we walked out to catch angkut to JMP. Then, we changed another angkut to TP. Another friendly lady helped us to catch the angkut. As I said, nice people are everywhere.
We waved goodbye to Jemey and Hajar, and met up with Yan Ying and Nita in Tunjungan Plaza (the biggest shopping mall in Surabaya). It was big, and we only manage to shop part of it. Again, that hospitable YanYing paid use her credit cards to pay for the near 200k dinner! Walao. To express our gratitude, we bought her present for Christmas.
We had a good night sleep in the air con room that night. Nice.

Surabaya-Bromo departure

We departed for Yogyakarta Jombo station at 7pm. When we reached there, we thought we were late. But, in the end, we waited until 10pm before the travelogue actually arrived! Stupid Travel Company! The agent is one cute guy. He kept telling us, “orang sabar disayangi Tuhan.” And called the driver non-stop. While waiting, he taught us some Javanist language. Little did I know it comes in handy for my trip.

10pm. The travelogue arrived. Surprisingly, Jemey and Hajar were inside! WALAO! Beh syiok lo… the travelogue actually picked them up from their house and they paid 10k lesser than we do! SHIT! Apparently their agent was much better than ours! STUPID! Our bad luck. We paid Rp115 to travel from Yogya to Surabaya.

Half way through, the travelogue air-con broke down, and we were sweating like shit. Then, the driver hit something and broke his side mirror. I was too tired I din’t borther and continue sleeping. It was until morning that I realised we met an accident. I wondered if it's the driver’s bad luck or mine.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

deal with kids

I hate kids. Seriously. It is sooooo hard to communicate with them. Today is the first time I decided not to volunteer myself to perform History taking. I have no confident at all in communicating with children. I am so dead for OSCE. Read my blog, you will find all the grammatical error in my English. See me talk, you will find me pronouncing all the wrong words. With all the Indonesian kids who know nothing on English, and me sucks in Indonesian Language, it doubles the difficulty. Die Die Die. How to speak to them wei! What if they cry? What if they don’t understand me? What if they lose confident in this stupid doctor in front of them? Haizzzzz….

Monday, December 21, 2009

paint ball+chicken Hazt+dong zhi+visit hospital+dinner with TYT=tired

I am such an asshole! Yesterday was hell of a busy. I was supposed to wake up early that day, but, i turn off my alarm and continue snoring. It was until Lailai messaged me and I jumped up my bed. But, still, I am too lazy, I turn her down and decided not to go for TBMM. Then, around 10.30am, Kean Seng called and asked me to go for paintball. Light just strikes pass. Paintball! It should be fun… but… but… I just refuse to go TBMM. But.. but… I promised Lee Suan and Shamini I will go with them. Just then, I have to make a call to the transport company and decide on which transport to take for my Surabaya trip. Erm.. erm.. paintball versus myself… finally I messaged back, “wait for me. 15 minutes.”

Bad decision. I was in my guilt the whole game. It was fun actually. I was teamed with Gan, Rooban, Chok, Chew. Star team, but just don’t know why we can’t win. And I played one on one with Leon. Who say small size fellow cannot be the last one standing? I shot Kean seng! But, still, hidden behind my guilt, I wish to go back as soon as possible. But, it turns up they decide to eat Chicken Hazts! Gosh!

In the afternoon, we had dong zhi celebration. Most of the Chinese gathered and we eat “winter ball” (tang yuan) together. Hmm… not bad though, but somehow, I find myself having no mood to socialize. Guess it starts off with a bad day.

Timmy was hospitalized due to alcohol intoxication. He drank too much the night before. So, we went to visit him.

After that, I rushed home and bath, on my way to attend a dinner with the TYT of Malacca. Good thing about students overseas is we get to eat free dinner everytime someone “big” comes to visit. This TYT of Malacca apparently wanted to meet all the Malaccan studying here. So, I attended since I can eat in Sheraton Hotel (5 stars) for Free. I thought it was just a normal dinner. But, it turns up the wife of TYT wants to sit with us. So, I have to sit with her, and it makes it much more difficult to enjoy my meal. Very funny thing is I got to sit in the VVIP seats and the TYT himself sit at the table in the corner. (bcoz his wife sitting in the VVIP and she wants to sit with the girls.) She had asthma and don’t have bile (she said that). So, she eats really little. So, we can’t eat that much. Lucky Ge-An, he got to eat peacefully. And the girl sitting beside me (Solo student) apparently is the daughter of a pangkat guy in Malaysia. So, she kinda chatted a lot with the TYT’s wife. Then, the entertainer infront kinda invite the “big” people to sing and dance. It ends up the VIP was singing, entertaining us student. =.=” then, they wants us to dance and sing along. =.=!!! The dinner ends late. And it is exhausting. Really really tired. I was drained….

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Planning for surabaya 2

One stupid thing about travelling during Christmas is we have to preplan almost everything. Hotel, transport, places to visit, the opening time…. And especially when we are girls and we are in Indonesia not Singapore, we have to take an extra precaution on something called, safety. We can’t do like Leon, go all random and asked for transport right on spot. We weren’t bold enough. We can’t do like Xiang wei, pay a little bit extra to get to the destination, cause we need to meet the budget. We can’t do like Wern Sern, take his time trying to find transport, because we only have 4 days of holiday. Okay. So, that makes all the different.

With the guys flying kites, we were left on our own. I wonder why we din’t follow our actual plan and try to fit ours with theirs. So, now how? I spend almost whole day searching for maps, travelogues, buses, tourist destination, hotels, tour groups, phone numbers... and I made calls and calls. No hotels in Malang! No transport from sura to bromo to malang (either too ex or the fellow says is impossible to do in one day). Damn! It gives me a real headache. Anyone in my situation would have given up. Gosh, I wonder what’s holding me on. The 100k I paid to transport to Surabaya? Maybe is my ego that hold me.

Now, almost everything settled. Except for one. I still don’t know how to get from Surabaya to Bromo to Malang. There must be a way!

Friday, December 18, 2009

听见-方雅贤

你不开心的眼
仿佛将我推到悬崖边缘
距离就算在靠近眼前
我们一样没焦点
没有你的世界
就像寒冬没有春天依偎
少了你陪在身边 我的四季只剩下冬天
悲伤喜悦 回忆不断重演
静下来的世界
有我的思念 也有你的空虚无边

你有没有听见
寂寞的声音悄悄在蔓延
它住进我们之间 守候着我和你的永远

你有没有听见
思念的呼唤传遍每条街
就算你走的再远累了回头我就在你的身边

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Spectacles and me

Never in my life i am associated with spectacles. But, i guess, from now on, this frame is gonna follow me for the rest of my life. Fuck!

"ei, huiying, why is it meso-ectomorphic?" yinli asked.
"which one? I cannot see la. You can see meh?" i strained my eyes, wondering what she is talking about.
"YOU CANNOT SEE! YOUR EYESIGHT WORSE THAN ME! Xiang wei, borrow your specks."
xiang wei specks was passed to my hand.

God! It was so clear! All this while it was so clear for everyone but not me! OH GOD!!! I was thinking, why all the lecturer so stupid keep putting on unclear slides. The LCD in the lecture hall always have problems. Everyone also cannot see, don't know what the lecturer talking up there. But no! Everyone can see soooo clearly. I CAN'T!!! Oh my god, it takes me so long to realise that. how pathetic. All this diziness actually has a source, and i don't know about it. I guess i am gonna fix myself a frame as soon as possible.
.
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some follow up.... this is my new look with a specks and a random pic i took to show my brother. do i look nerd?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Planning for surabaya

I wanted to go to Bromo, to Surabaya. I heard the view is superb. I heard Surabaya is Chinese city. I wanted to have a look. So, since Christmas is near, I was planning to have a trip down to Surabaya. At first Kean seng was planning, but, he insisted to follow train. Xiang wei and Wern Sern told me travel by train is expensive and not worth it. I was given a few numbers to contact for angkut and hotel. So, I was planning to go on my own. Luckily Lee Lee and Yinli were by my side. But, just the three of us? I am a little bit anxious and uncertain. I asked around and see whether I can get more people to join me to share out the money, but apparently, remedial just out, so everyone is struck with “Down-Syndrome”. Bad luck it seems.

Never mind then. I was told that Leon will be going also. I was considering whether to join them, but apparently, I guess they have enough people, and guy’s interest might just crash with us. So, we put that in the “keep in view” list, hopefully we can find more people to join us. Ho hwee save money, Wen mei and Joanna remedial fever, lee suan Christmas celebration, xiang wei went home, hsiao suan not sure, junyi follow ho hwee, yanyi who hesitated, asked me everything, waste my credit , then finally tell me she not following. Haiz… So, now, left with just the three of us…

So, look. Transportation, hotel, trips, where to go, food, many many more!!!! Headache headache!!!! Should I just cancel or go on with it?! I wonder why I am a student council. My planning skills suck.

Monday, December 14, 2009

expessionless

The feeling now, is extremely weird. I am not overwhelmed, nor sad. Things just came out of expected. I got an A/B for block 2.1. This is of average. I thought i will get B/C, but it turns out to be better than what i expect. So, theoretically, i should be overwhelmed, hugging my friends and say yay. But no... Mak wishes me, emotionless. Leon says good job, expressionless. I was wondering whether i am just too tired, or just... just... just....

People said i am an emo kind of people. I din't deny that. But, came to think about it, i doubt anyone in my high school or Emal club would have associate me with emo. This mood swing things just started after i came here, a shit place called UGM. Was it really that tension to study medicine? Yes. But, what kills me most is the solitude inside. The feeling of emptiness, friendless, and homeless. Now that International Building has shifted to a new location, everything is just so different. The feeling of belonged disappear. There is no Hang-out place for Inter student anymore. It became so open that i don't feel secure at all.

I brought a student from Netherland around the campus today. She was fine, sweet and nice. Just somehow rather, i find my communication skills sucks. Speaking is difficult, even in English. Why do I have a feeling i will face communication problems in future? I am not a good doctor.

Today, the tutor scolded us, because our discussion sucks. I know nothing about pediatrics.

Today, somebody give me a feel that she hates me, AGAIN.

Today, i felt down.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Trip to Dieng

I have got to write this down before I forget everything. YAY! I went Dieng and it was awesome! Dieng is a highland in Jawa Island. We took around 3 hours to get from Jogya to Dieng.

We reached Candi Arjuna around 3am in the morning. We got down from the car and frozen outside. It was -1 degree Celsius. Shit! I was shivering. Then, we stared at the sky waiting for sunrise.


It was a starry night. Never had I seen so much stars before. Then, within split seconds, a falling stars strike across the sky.
“Did you see that, did you see that?!”Lee Lee asked excitedly, shaking my already frozen body.
“no… see what?” no idea what she is talking about.
“a meteor just fly over the sky!”
“ya rite.. you must be lying.”
“got!!!! There.. just now!” she pointed to one direction.“There?! Where got!” I pointed to the same direction, just then, another falling stars strike across!
“THERE THERE! GOT GOT! WE SAW!” we shouted simultaneously and excitedly.
That night, a few meteor fly across the sky, accompanied us in the cold breeze.

ei people, the news say today and tomorrow night got meteor rain, must see know.” Ash told us. I wasn’t really paying attention. It is quite impossible to see a meteor, I thought.
But Hey! I saw! Yahoo!!!! Never had I dream that I saw! And psss.. I made a wish! Haha!

We waited for sun rise. It wasn’t really spectacular. But, still, mother nature never disappoint us. As the sky gradually turned bright, we started to take a lot of pictures.


Then, we hired a tour guide to bring as around. He told us Dieng means "a high land with Gods (dewa dewi). Then we were introduced the Candi which has a male and female symbolic. (you will know what i mean once you see it yourself). Then, he bought us around the complex.


Dieng is like Cameron Highland, cold and refreshing. There were all sorts of flowers here, especially famous is the "bunga abadi" which is known as Asian elderwise.


Next stop, we went to Kawah Sikidang . It was named because of the moving mud. It is an active volcano. The water or sulphur or whatever inside the Kawah is boiling! The whole placed smelled like rotten eggs.




Then we went Telaga Warna. This lake has many colors, especially when view from the top. So, we climbed to the top of the mountain (41km) Gosh! I felt like I lost one leg in the process. But, when we reached the top, everything just worth it’s price. Terraced Field is everywhere, plus the color of the lake, it is amazing. The climbing part is difficult due to the slope, the slippery sands, and no stairs available. So, imagine the descend. Shit!

lailai and I



We climbing up the hill! Damn tired!
But, when you reached the top, it is priceless!




We also visited a few Caves. People still go there to meditate. Some caves are specially "designed" for people who wishes for career, some for marriage, some for fertility…. It is quite an eye-opener to listen to all the stories.


After that, we visited Kawah Sileri before depart to buy their local products, Carika. It is nice, so I decided to bring home some.




One last look at Dieng Plateau. It was wonderful! Superb! Awesome! Speechless! Indescribable.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

exam vs PMS

Oh boy, its exam tomorrow!!!! After tomorrow, that's another block! Couldn't believe how time pass, really. And ask me again what have i learned this block. Oversaturated. Every block is like a regular seven weeks menstrual period. And after tomorrow, the layer will shield away. Then, a whole new layer will starts to accumulate again. Week 1, week 2, week 3..... it repeats, with a fluctuate hormone level in your brain. Week 7 will be ovulation period when everyone struck with anxiety and a little bit anti-social. Then they will start to cut down the activities, merely to bury themselves in books.

But hey look at this way, another 2 more "menstrual period" then i am going home... wahaha. And i am shifting house. Well, as much as i know that i will miss my old house (the one and only house i have ever had), i anticipate the new habitat. At least now i can have a room by myself, with the paint of my own choice. Yay! Always contradicting is the thought that, i will miss the midnight chat with my brother and the pushing my sister a little bit further on bed (she sleeps like an octopus)..... *dream off*

Okay okay, back to reality. I have got to study for tomorrow's exam! Exam! Revision time....

Monday, December 7, 2009

Today's diary

I am bored with lecture notes. So, I decided to type something here. But, I do not have anything interesting to tell, because I am stuck with lecture notes. So, I decided to write a diary. Open diary for today.

I went to campus for Biochem test. I picked that purple Bandung T-shirt, cause it was once my lucky shirt I pre-wear it today so that I can wear on Friday. Yinli left her key on the gate. I took her key with me. I reached campus. I saw Hayu (okay, I don’t really remember her name). She asked me about outgoing. I have no idea what she is talking about, so I told her I have test and tell her later (obviously that is a lie).

I took my lap coat from the locker, rush to the RP, press the escalator, met Perkedil, reached 6 floor. Mak stood outside the door, pointing towards yanyi and said, “the HSC is with her.” I tried to have a look. She turned to me, “how am I going to pass to you!”
Shock. “erm, can I have a look?” She passed the paper to me.
“What if I go Photostat and pass it to you right after the test? You can wait a while right, cause have to wait for the lecture notes.” She hesitated, and node. She moved far far away. Yiteng followed.

Wai Liam approached me.
“What drama you watching?”
Still flipping the paper, “恶作剧。Haha. Shit nya, so many things to study leh. See la, one more sheets to do.”
“ei, I give Inn hou homework—bring you out for dinner.”
“erm… har?! Aiyo… *****(I forget what I said)” well, I dint went for Inn Hou birthday party yesterday night. It was too late and dark, so, I decided not to go.
Junyi approached, “yesterday we went to his party lo.”
“Too dark d ma, so I dint go.”
“aiya, my whole house went lo.”
“I am taking bike leh, you got car ma, different.”
“yanyi also took bike. She lost…….****(whatever. I actually got a shock that she went and even took her own bike. But, seriously, it was too dark and scary to go out at this hour, especially after hearing all the stories about pogung. So, whatever) I ignored her, feeling much guilty for not attending Inn Hou’s party. I took out my biochem and start reading.

“hui ying. Huiying. Come here and sit.” Elene waved at me, and called me over. I went and sat. Happy.
“like that la, only let huiying sit.”Adi said to elen.
“she small size ma…..*****”(I concentrate on my book. I don’t understand Indonesian language anyway)

Lee Suan came out from the room. Ei, got 10 questions.. bla bla bla. She told us all the questions and rush down. I studied and memorise everything, went to sit for the exam, come out, rush to the escalator. Yanyi was there with yiteng, telling him what she wrote for her answer. I stood there a while, decided to hand in my report first. When I am back, they were gone. I sat the next escalator down and walked to IP. I saw them there, I told her to wait while I go Photostat. I walked alone, increase my speed towards the photocopy shop beside Baroka. Then came back with 2 sheets of paper.
Just when I reached outside library, 1 message Neo YanYi “I am in library. You can leave it in IP basket.”
I replied, “I am outside library.” Yiteng came out instead of her, holding her purse. So I passed to him.

I went back to IP, realized yinli’s key is still with me. I met Leon. He asked me about the lecture notes. So, I told him I had the lecture pictures with me now. He offered to help me remind the staff to print the notes, while I help to transfer the slides to him. I took over his pendrive and walked to a computer. Joanna and Hsiao Suan was inside. I told Joanna Yinli has no key to enter. I plucked in the pendrives, saw CUTTY BABY (F:). Who the hell is that?! Yer, why Leon put such name. Then I realized that was actually my own pendrive. LEE LEE!!!!!! YOU CHANGED THE NAME!!!!! I open into the file. There is a folder Discussion With Pretty Girl. WHAT THE !!!!!!! =.=” Hsiao suan smiling behind.

I went to see mas mudji, reminded him again to print. He promised me that it will be done by noon. So, I went to room, lecture note-ing. 1 message Rufus"exam on friday 1pm. comfirm." i click on forward. I finished the notes I brought, went to check, but it is still not done. I fed up, went back.

The door was locked from the outside. I wonder where has everyone been. I went in. A cup of milo on the table. The whole house was dark. I checked my phone. 1 message joanna press into it. “xw abdominal pain. We go jogja international hospital.” Oh.. okay… what happen?! I walked to and fro a while and went to sleep.

1 message Hsiao Suan “open the door for aaron ya.” I went to peep outside. No one there. I sat back. A few minutes later, a bike arrived. I went out. Ei, it was not Aaron. It was Wei Hern. I told him Joanna wasn’t in. He said never mind and went back. I sat back. Lecture notes.

All my housemates came back, reporting the visit. I sat and listened. Xiang wei couldn’t finish her rice, and gave me some. I helped her find about colicky abdominal pain from books. I analyzed a bit, wonder why I did that, so I just passed the book to her. She understand better than me, me telling her what is colicky pain seems like a child teaching a father how to suck nipples. After that, she went to sleep and I went back to lecture notes.

The rest of the days fill with lecture notes, and I am bored. Wei Hern was here, in the room with Joanna, practicing OSCE. Well, hopefully everyone pass their OSCE la…

Back to studying.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Help?

I am not God. I couldn’t please everyone. But, at least I try to please everyone. No. I mean, I can try to please everyone. But still… not everyone is pleased. And I can virtually hear little whisper from the corner of their heart, “you are one shit fellow, coz you should be doing this, this and this.” “You should help me to do this, this and this.” “I want this and this and this” and looked at me expectedly. And I can’t avoid feeling down unable to fulfill their wishesssss. But, life had taught me how to pretend like I don’t care when the me inside turns back, twisting my brain, frantically trying to figure a solution for them. Yet, no one able to see through my eyes to find the me inside. What they see is “fucking shit, no one wanted to help me!” (a bit of confession, I used to say that).

Okay, that was beside the point. If no one asked me for help, I will curse and doubt my value. What a contradiction. Ridiculous? Yes, it seems. As the saying goes, “women are one complicated species.” So bear me. Haha.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

没烦恼了!

现在的我,可以说是,没有什么烦恼。肩上的重量轻了很多。虽然成绩还是那么烂,虽然功课还是那么多,但至少我已经解决生平最大的问题--人际关系。原来能够抽身笑看人生,自己也会活得快乐一点。如今和所有仇人没有怨气,过往的事一律不提,安慰很多很多。怎么说都有情在内,破镜重圆也不是不可能的。破镜终有缝,那我就希望我们一开始就不是一面镜。

现在亦交了不少新朋友,减少可怜自己的机会。能够交心,何乐而不为?虽然小人还是那么多,但至少都没有踩到我的尾巴。没关系。也许我已经能够习惯他们的风俗习惯,没有烦扰我那么多了。人家说,要开心,就要open heart。说得没错噢。

很多时候,面对别人,我能够开开心心的聊天,一切如常。但,当面对自己的时间多了,跟自己说话的时间多了,可怜自己也不在话下。还好活动多,我才不置于想太多。现在可好,春光明媚,好轻好轻,好快活!!!

考试要到了。还是专注读书呗。有人说我不够专注,才导致事半功倍,才显得吃力。那好,我这次必定力尽所能,务必尽量获A A/B(有点逞强)。

Saturday, November 28, 2009

River Rafting AGAIN

I went river rafting AGAIN!!!! Wakaka… Well, this time, it is a batch thingy, many many people went. So, we took up around 8 to 10 boats, and rafted through Sungai Elo!! Well, it was like last time, but now our instructor wasn’t as fun as the previous one. Sobz. During one of the war, I accidentally injured my index finger. I think it will swell tomorrow. Sobz. So now I am typing without my index finger, which is extremely slow.

Well, what is new this time, I saw a dead body in the river. Ya. Floating half naked. The instructor told us that maybe he slipped when he bathed. OMG. Okay, though this is not the first time I saw a dead body, but, seeing a dead body at the river, when I am sitting on the boat, it is so… speechless. Well, everyone made a silent prayer.

Then, we used bigger boats this time, so it is very stable until it won’t overturn. As there were too many people, the instructors do not really push us down the water. So, it was kinda boring compare to last time. But, anyhow, it was fun with sooo many people rafting together. We played near the side of river during rest station. We splashed water, and pushed each other. The guys even carried me and hurled me into the water. Haha. Fun!

Well, I guess the fun is over now. Back to study. I will be having exam in 10+ days. Having activities every Saturday is so not gonna help in improving my study. So, I am gonna hibernate for the next few days, MUGGING!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

TBMM makrab vs Dance

Just came back from TBMM Makrab (majlis keakraban). Well, I thought it will be fun (since the seniors said so), but it was proven booooring!! Well, basically what we did most is to play some lame games and enjoy the air. I must say the air is extremely refreshing and cooling, coupled by the strong mist and drizzling rain, it is perfect to cuddle in warm blankets. Thumbs up for Kaliurang weather.


why am i wearing like this? haha. i was about to go for outbound (some activities in the wood).

Well, actually, Kenny asked me to dance with him (salsa) for the Olympiad Dance Competition. I hesitated at first, unconfident with my own ability. But, when I finally agreed and looking forward to it, I was told that it crashed with my TBMM Makrab. Fucking shit! So I had to give up this dance thingy. Haha. fate.... Perhaps, if I were the one dancing, they won’t win. But, still, trapping in the hall, playing some lame trading game, is extremely disappointing.

Perhaps like a friend said, you don’t know what God had planned for you, maybe this is the best for you, who knows, maybe I slipped on the stage, maybe I meet an accident, or maybe i disappoint them… haha. Okay... ya. maybe this is the best for us all.

Okay la, maybe it wasn't really that bad. The makrab was okay la. We stared at the camp fire for a very long time, and they talked something I don't really listened, but i was thinking of myself and my life. Somehow, i realised that God wanted me to know that I should be more humble and thus took away some part of my achievement, together with my pride. Perhaps He wants me to know that I can lost everything in a single day, and gain or loss in life really means nothing. I gain 2 scholarships, so what?! I WAS a good student, so what?! In the end, i ended up here, feeling hopeless and helpless in most of the things i do. And i always wonder, when will life be smooth sailing, and will I stop complaining?! I realised i will not. Haha. Guess is really time for me to learn not to avoid the storm, but learn how to dance in the rain.

可是,说真的,最大的收获应该是我找到一个能够长谈的朋友吧。哈哈。

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Diwali Night

I hadn’t been updating my blog for quite some time. Not that I already forget about my blog, in fact, I been thinking about it all the time. But, somehow rather, I stopped myself from updating. For a simple reason, I still think life is not interesting, and there is nothing interesting enough to fit in here. Rather than allowing emo-ness sips in, I prefer silence take place.

Actually, many things happened this week. Despite the madness and craziness of studying, many things happened. Last Saturday, I went for deepavali night. Deepavali?! Yup. A very late one. Basically, I just borrowed a Punjabi suit from Shamini, and set off to the ballroom. Wei Hern suggested to take a “family photo” with our Indian costume that day, so we went photo talk to take a nice photo. Apparently, I am still a girl who don’t know how to make-up and dress up. So, with only lipgross (is this how you spell it?) and mascara, I became the girl with the least make-up, almost original look there. The rest are all heavily make-up, and nicely dressed. Well…

I guess God has His way to arrange things. During photo talk, that camera men switch on the radio, “Dear God, by Avenged Sevenfold” haha. Coincidents. That evening, I just nice sat beside yanyi, and we talked. For the first time, after so many months, we talked. I have no idea why and how, but, we did talk like old friend. And that night, I received a flower, I means, many flowers, from a friend. Well, I think I wasn’t a good friend, cause I hurt him with my words, but he still gave me flowers. Funny, but haha… okay…

Deepavali night in Hyatt Hotel.

Me and Lian Jae (my salsa partner)

The event was fantastic. Dance was good, everyone in their best, performance was great, food was nice, but i have to admit the roti canai is a bit thick. Haha. After the whole event, they open the dance floor, and we party. Haha.

Then, I went Boshe that night. I drank a bit, not a lot, dance a while, and then come back. Many people went Boshe that night. We met the juniors and seniors. Haha. Half the dance floor fills with UGM students. Haha.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

"Hands to Share" Charity Concert

A few days earlier, I attended “Hands To Share” Charity concert. A few of my batch mates perform violins and pianos on stage. There were many different culture and dances performed.


Korean dance and Korean Drum



Buddhist Monk dance


There were also some Javanese instruments, fusion of Korean and Javanese instrumental music, and a lady from US playing violin. I sat down the stage, my mind started to wander across the time zones.


Yinli played 20th century piece. Debussy eccentric chaotic General Lavine played with a good control of expression and tone. Of course. How could I ever played that!
“Come on… perform la Hui Ying…”
“I couldn’t. My piano sucks.” My hippocampus started to browse through the books, trying to find a piece I could master. No… None! I haven’t been touching piano for a very very long time! Performance?! Impossible.

Adi’s Fur Elise. Okay, if I were a few years younger, I could play like him. When I was a few years younger, I could. But, now, a simple piece will take me a decade to practice.

Lee Suan’s Debussy piece. OMG! She can play so well! Smooth. No wonder I failed my Grade 8. No wonder the examiner hates me so much. No wonder I stop where I am. Mrs Grace started to appear, laughing sinisterly at me. And me playing the piano, not knowing what I am playing. Playing or typing the notes, I wasn’t sure.

Susie played Maksim Croatian Rhapsody! I heard she just learned piano! Incredible!

Arh… why do people always have talent?! What am I good at?! Sometimes I just wish I have everything, but more often I realized I don’t even have a thing to be proud of. Haiz…

Saturday, November 7, 2009

chaotic

My mind is in a chaotic state. Everything revolved around me centered to themselves. Selfish, inconsiderate, work for benefits, fake laughter, people, human, with their evil state of mind, just twist my brain, add noises to it, scratch it till I can barely recognize. I started to miss the past tense. I started to wish uncorrupted people appear in my life and make me believe in humanity. But I guess lust, greed and self-centered, they are just part of the term—grow up.

Ok… back to work!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Vertical and Water Rescue!

Last Saturday, I went for Vertical Rescue. Wanna know what’s that? They actually taught us how to climb up and down to rescue people. But, it is fucking difficult. We ascended the building from 3rd to 5th floor, and then descended from 4th to ground floor. A wonderful but tiring experience, indeed.

The descending was fun. Fast and easy. The ascending was the shitty part. I think I used every inches of my muscle to pull myself on that thing, and move inches by inches to get up. Half way through, I was so exhausted I couldn’t climb anymore. Then, I shouted up, “mas, saya udah capek! (Mr, I already tired)”. To my despair, he replied, “I couldn’t pull you up. You are half way through. The only way is to climb up here yourself!” DAMN IT! It was a lonely road. I hang there, half way in the air, ascending every centimeter I can. Despite cursing and swelling, I can’t feel my arms and legs anymore. When I reached on top, Oh Gosh! It’s heaven! Never been so happy my butt touched the floor.

The mas teaching us how to ascend...

One of our member there, climbing up!I was there too, just, no one help me take photos. haiz..


They demonstrated how to descend.

Me, descending!


Later, they demonstrated Howling and pulley system. I became the subject to be pulled up. Haha.. Fun!

The Next day, we went for Water Rescue. Haha. Now, they taught us how to rescue people in the water. We have rescue people with equipment, without equipment, and on land. It was fun though. Haha, photos come later ya!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

New Member

A new member arrived at our house!

A dog!

I help Yinli picked this dog, the nauthy-iest among all! He is a big bully though. That explained his big tummy, i guess. His siblings must be celebrating upon the farewell of him.

Pretending to be cute eh!


Deep in thought...



We helped Wern Sern fetch his dog also. But, his dog had injured his leg, perhaps bitten by our big bully. That is why his howling sounds "oooh.. miserable, why on earth should I be raised up with this bully!" That night itself, Wern Sern and all his house mates came to fetch him back and he stop howling after that. What a fuck! Yes, all five house mates came for a little tiny puppy! haha

As for our dog, I guess he couldn't bother more. At least now he had the whole box by himself and the whole plate of food by himself. Can you believe it, he licked from his brother's mouth to get the milk! Greedy dog.




It feels like daddy day care though, feeding this dog when he howls, take it out to pee when he howls... and hey, he knows how to pee on the right spot! Smart huh...

He dint have any name yet. Any suggestion?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Hot!



It’s like a burning hell lately!
Can’t resist the heat!
Sleepy, Moody, Thanks to the Sun!
Constantly hydrating myself
Still, I soaked in sweat.


Screw the weather
Screw the heat wave
Constantly see-ing updates on weather in facebook
He had got all the attention!

Monday, October 19, 2009

stress

stress

stress

stress

stress

stress

stress

stress

cibabom!!!

I need a break
to runaway from everything
from human being
from lecture notes

I need to hear more kind words
to boost my confident
in humanity

PONCAB

I went TBMM Adventure camp yesterday. It was damn Fun!!!! Hahaha..

We built our tent with rain coat. Wah sai, never see before eh. They have their own innovation though.


This is my group mates

At night, we walked in the forest, climbing up and down the slope in the dark. I must say, my torch hates me, ‘cause it wasn’t bright enough. Luckily I was in the same group with Ge-An, and he was considerate enough to shine my way through. Haha. Ge-An again?! Ya, I know…

There was a rapid flowing river. It was icy cold, and we stood in there for quite some time, listening to them lecturing us. Damn sweat. There was a distance when each of us hold a candle in our hand, and walk pass the forest alone. Haha. Damn fun. I was thrilled.

We came back from the adventure at around 2am, slept for a while before they woke us up, closed our eyes with the cloth, and walked us to an empty land in blind. All we can see is darkness, noises, and me, trying frantically to stay awake. I was about to fall asleep, standing.

“pantas enggak?! Nak jadi anggota TBMM, pantas enggak?”

What is pantas? Fast? Aiya, whatever la, I just raised my hand.

The truth is, there are a lot of words that I don’t understand though.

Then, they say, they will tab the shoulder of those who pass, I heard the opposite. When my shoulder wasn’t tab, I was happy for a moment. When I realised the truth, oh shit! Damn sad. But, I kind of wonder, how they recognise us in the dark? If this camp is a selection camp, how they assess us? Make no sense! But, when the person beside me was tabbed and walked away, the sadness rush in.

“Those that din’t get, I am sorry, there will be a bus at 7.40 to send you back. Those that pass, please stay back, we got some activities for you. Now, panitia, please put the badge on the right hand of those who pass…” damn shit damn shit!!!

“ok, now, everyone, you can open the cloth.” I looked around, saw many disappointed face in between us. “now, look at the things you are holding.”

The slayer, with TBMM batch on it!!!! I was so blur, I asked the Indonesian beside me, “apa maksud nya?”

Yea! I passed!

That morning, we played games. It was real fun. My whole body was wet, falling into a pool of water, while crossing on the bamboo above.

Wait, that wasn’t all. When we were about to go back, there was a strong wind. Extreme strong wind. And 5meter infront of me, I saw a four floor high tree, break into two, and falls right infront of me! OH MY GOD!!!! Then, everyone started running into the shelter. The wind was.. very very strong. Nice experience and luckily i was 5 meter away.